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Lately, I’ve been seeing so many people I know announce that they are pregnant with their first child.  I always love seeing this, because it wasn’t long ago I was in their shoes.  It brings back a lot of memories and emotions about my own experience.  I was so excited for the future, yet so scared of the unknown.  Today, with Mother’s Day being at the end of the week, I wanted to share my personal experience of being pregnant as a first time mom.

I had a difficult beginning to my pregnancy.  I learned that I was pregnant not long after experiencing my second miscarriage.  I never thought that I would go through anything like that when the time came to have a baby, so it caught me off guard and left me with a very distraught feeling that wouldn’t go away.  The first time I miscarried, I was very disappointed, but also hopeful.  The second time that it happened, I felt very alone.  We had only been living in Las Vegas for a couple months and I hadn’t told anyone that I was pregnant.  I was so saddened by the whole experience, that I was afraid to try again.  It wasn’t long after that second miscarriage, that I felt like something was off.  I kept waiting for my period to start, but nothing happened.  I decided to take a pregnancy test and sure enough, it was true.  I kept it to myself, in fear of it being too soon to tell, so I took one more test later in the week.  Sure enough, it showed I was pregnant.  The next morning I threw up and knew it had to be true.

18-week baby bump

My first trimester was long and miserable.  I threw up almost every day.  I was so tired and sick.  I remember feeling so sad because I thought pregnancy was supposed to be an exciting and happy time in my life.  I was worried all the time because I thought that something bad was going to happen to the baby.  The one thing that saved me during this time, surprisingly, was going to work every day.  As sick as I was, I never called in and I never threw up at work.  It kept me busy and kept my mind off how yucky I felt.  When I hit 12 weeks and was still sick I got concerned that the morning sickness would never go away.  Then one day, probably around 15 or 16 weeks I didn’t throw up my breakfast.  After that, I magically started to feel like a human again. 

Once I got over my morning sickness, I started getting excited about my pregnancy.  My ultrasound at 18 weeks was definitely a high light.  I found out that I was having a boy and that everything was developing well.  I was able to worry less and start to enjoy myself a little more.  My belly popped out right around 20 weeks and that’s when I got really excited about styling my bump.  I started my weekly maternity post on my blog which I really enjoyed. (You can check those out here) I felt good in my second trimester, for the most part.  I did start to feel very uncomfortable around 22 weeks.  As the baby grew, my body grew and stretched in ways it never had before, making it very uncomfortable. 

28-week bump

By my third trimester, I had the perfect size bump and I felt as good as I could feel.  I do remember feeling extremely anxious.  I started watching people’s birth stories on youtube and reading lots of other blogger’s birth stories.  I prepared myself for the worse.  I was ready to get my little guy out, it didn’t matter how.  Despite all my research, when the time came and I went into labor, I didn’t believe it.  I had to google “water breaking” over and over again.  It wasn’t until I started having strong contractions that I believed I was in labor.     

It was a really weird feeling when I finally got to hold my little man in my arms.  I was in awe of him and couldn’t stop thinking about the whole experience.  As much as I was ready to get him out, I immediately missed feeling him inside me.  I wanted to be pregnant again….if that made any sense? 

Snuggling with my newborn

I would love to have another baby someday, but I’m not in a rush.  I’m enjoying all the moments I can with Jack right now and our little family of 3.  I do miss that feeling of being pregnant at times, and I look forward to experiencing it again one day.  It makes me a little sad to think that nothing will be like the first time, but it does excite me to know that the next time I am pregnant, I will be sharing it with Jack too.  I look forward to the day that I can make him a big brother.

What was your first pregnancy experience like?  How was it different from your others?