DIY Maternity photo

Back when I found out I was pregnant in the fall, I never could have imagined that I would be pregnant during a global pandemic.  This baby was well planned out and I felt like the timing of the due date was perfect, but I can't tell you how many times in the last month or so I have asked myself why do I have to be pregnant now?

There is no way around it, it's a scary time for everyone.  It's hard not knowing when this will all end.  It's hard not to know what the world will look like after this is all over.  People are sick, people are dying, people are losing their jobs.  Anxiety levels are high for everyone.  Being pregnant, just adds one more thing to worry about. 

I think that most people think that pregnant women are afraid right now of getting the Coronavirus.  They think our biggest fears are going to the hospital and being exposed to the virus.  I will tell you that there is so much more than that.  Yes, I do worry about getting sick and I don't want to be exposed to this virus, but to be honest, that is not something I am overly concerned about at the moment.

Today I want to share some of my thoughts and fears about being pregnant right now, during the COVID-19 Pandemic.  I've debated sharing this a couple times, just because talking about is sometimes makes me feel sad.  It brings out all the feelings that I try to ignore on most days.  But talking about this topic is also helpful for me.   It's always been therapeutic for me to write down my thoughts, so sharing my feelings will only help me cope with them.  The other reason I've decided to share this is for you, my dear readers.  I know that some of you are expecting moms or recently gave birth, so I hope that you can relate and sympathize with me in some way.

Maternity photo

The reality of giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic

As of right now, Michigan is considered one of the hot spots for COVID-19, but the majority of the state's cases are on the east side of the state in the metro Detroit area.  I live in the Grand Rapids area, which is still a decent size city, but we do not currently have the overload that they have on the other side of the state.  The hospital that I'm giving birth at is currently treating patients who have the virus.  That makes me nervous, but I do know that it is a big hospital and the Women's Center is in its own section, far away from the patients being treated for COVID-19.  Currently, the hospital is allowing only one adult to be with you during birth.  That person must stay with you the entire time you are at the hospital, they cannot leave and come back.  The hospital is currently screening the mothers and spouses, but they are not testing for the virus yet.  No one is allowed to leave their rooms in the labor or recovery unit and you are given a mask to wear.  If you are COVID-19 positive your baby will be separated from you immediately after birth to protect the newborn from being exposed to the virus.  Many doctors are inducing 2nd time or more moms at 39 weeks so that they can get them in and out of the hospital sooner rather than later.  They are also discharging mothers early if they can.  The doctors are also strongly recommending that you keep your newborn home after you leave the hospital and you don't expose them to anyone else but your immediate family that you live with. That means no visitors from grandparents, aunts or uncles.

 As for your prenatal doctor's appointments, many of them are being done over the phone.  I have my first virtual doctor visit this week.  For regular doctor visits, you have to go alone, which means if you have a special test scheduled like an ultrasound you can't bring any family with you.

I don't know about you, but when I read through all of that there are so many scary thoughts that run through my head.  You can see why so many women are considering home births right now.  A home birth is not an option for me, because my last birth was a c-section.  As of right now, I am scheduled for a c-section at 39 weeks, but if the baby comes sooner I'm going to try for a VBAC.  Even with a VBAC, I will be closely monitored, so being at the hospital is a must.  To be honest, even if that was not the case, I personally still feel safer giving birth at a hospital over my home.

For me and most mothers I would think, the scariest thought is testing positive for COVID-19 and having our baby separated from us.  I can't imagine how sad I'd feel if I couldn't be with my baby for the first few weeks of their life.  My other worry, that is more of a possibility, is the fact that I may have to give birth alone.  If no one else can be around the baby, then Kevin would have to stay home with Jack while I go to the hospital to give birth.  Not having my husband by my side when our daughter is born breaks my heart.  I think back to when Jack was born and how he stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital.  He kept me calm.  We also shared the experience together.

It also breaks my heart to think that our family would not be able to meet our new baby.  Having family around after the baby is born was something I was looking forward to.  Having extra help is so nice, especially now that we will have 2 kids.  Plus I know how excited our family is about this baby.  They don't want to miss out on meeting her as a newborn.  It will kill me if I have to tell them that they can't come to stay with us after the baby is born.

These are the fears and worries that pregnant women are feeling right now.  At least I know these are my biggest concerns.  Yes, we are concerned about the virus, but there is so much more on our minds right now.

DIY Maternity Photo

Finding the positive in the unknown

I just talked about the reality and my fears about the current pandemic situation we are in, but I always feel that you have to find the positive in every situation, even if it's hard to do.   I am grateful that I'm having a healthy pregnancy.  I can only imagine how other women with complications or who are high-risk are feeling right now.  I'm also happy that my due date is in June.  Even though my due date is coming up fast, I feel like there is still time.  There is still time to be hopeful that things might get better.  I also know that I'm not alone.  There are thousands of other women who are pregnant right now having the same feelings I am.

The one thing that this pandemic cannot take away from me is my joy.  I'm having a baby girl and I'm going to be a mommy again, nothing makes me happier than that thought.  Every time I feel a kick or a movement, I'm reminded of the life that I'm carrying inside me.  It's truly a miracle.  I know that I am stronger than I think I am and I can do this.  Despite all the negative feelings about being pregnant right now, that's not going to take away my joy.

DIY Maternity Photo

So, even though baby showers and maternity shoots are canceled and you may have to give birth without your loved ones near, it will be okay in the end.  Women have given birth in a lot worse situations.  We can do this!!  We will be the mothers of the pandemic babies of 2020.  You can share your stories with them when they are older and hopefully they will never know all the fears and worries you had at the time of their birth.  If you are pregnant or recently have given birth, know that I am thinking of you and you are not alone!!

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." ~ Dolly Parton

*The photos in this post were done by me.  I decided to put on a pretty dress and do my own maternity shoot with just my phone and my tripod.  I highly recommend it!  Thank you to Sexy Mama Maternity for gifting me the beautiful dress.


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Pregnant during the COVID-19 Pandemic

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